Archive for Satire

Censor at the gym: what’s next?

kettle bell and sneakers

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Gym chain LifeTime Fitness has decided that banning CNN, Fox News and MSNBC from its big-screen TVs as part of its “overall healthy way of life philosophy and commitment to provide family-oriented environments free of polarizing or politically charged content.” I can somewhat understand their logic, although isn’t going to the gym supposed to raise your blood pressure?

But it does sort of open the door to other network banishments…

  • Food Network and Cooking: it seems just watching some of those programs put on pounds without even eating
  • E!: Kardashians. ‘Nuf said
  • CNBC or Fox Business: depending on which side of the 99% you fall into, rocketing stocks are too exciting or too frustrating
  • Nat Geo or Nat Geo Wild: dinnertime on the savanna can be upsetting to watch
  • History: Vikings could be offensive because of excessive violence, Knightfall because of excessively bad writing
  • ID: might be giving some people ideas that could affect the health of their spouses
  • MTV: upsetting to anyone over 50 getting a blast of today’s youth culture
  • TCM: distressing that they don’t make movies like [insert title here] anymore
  • YES: Could make you sick. Depends on how the Yankees play this season.

At this rate, the channel selection may end up getting thinner than the LifeTime patrons…

David Tice is the principal of TiceVision LLC, a media research consultancy.
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